15 Week Bump Picture!

Okay, okay I know this picture is late since I'm already 16 weeks, but bear with me!  This is one of the new dresses from my friend Melissa.  I wore it to church on Sunday and got complimented :)  And you can't see it but I had a skinny belt on above my belly to show off the bump! 

Art and I both agree that my bump actually looks a little smaller in this picture than my 14 weeks picture.  Guess that's because that one was taken immediately after dinner!  Hehe.  Anyway, enjoy! I hope you have a great day!

16 Week Update

How far along?: 16 Weeks

How big is baby?:   Your baby is the size of a mango!  In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length.  His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Any appointments or updates this week?: No updates this week...just waiting on our anatomy scan on 2/5!

Body changes?:  My bump is definitely showing up!  According to what I've been reading the top of my uterus is about halfway between my pubic bone and belly button now, so it's definitely pushing everything out more.

Maternity clothes?: My sweet friend Melissa let me borrow a bunch of her awesome maternity clothes.  My favorite so far is the belly band she brought me.  I've been wearing it every day and it's been great to not have to go out and buy all new pants just yet.  Plus I have a bunch of cute dresses to try once it warms up a little more!

Best moment last week?: Getting excited over the mat clothes from Melissa...plus she brought me some cute baby stuff too! 

Food cravings?: I haven't had any cravings lately.  Maybe that will come in the third tri? 

Symptoms?: Waking up the middle of the night having leg cramps and/or having to use the bathroom.  Other than that most of my symptoms have been getting better!  I feel like I'm getting my energy back to a good extent. 

Exercise?: Blah - I have been failing at this lately.  I REALLY need to make it a priority.  Now I just need some motivation...

What I miss?: Starbucks!  Especially when it's cold outside. 

What I'm looking forward to?: Our anatomy scan and also being able to feel the baby moving.  I've heard that usually happens between 16-18 weeks so it shouldn't be too much longer!  --- still this from last week :)

What our baby looks like this week: (You can see that the proportions are starting to look more like a newborn now!) 

I have a confession...

Even though I am 100% over-the-moon excited for this baby and to become a mom, I'm finding myself avoiding all baby-related planning, shopping, everything.  The only things I have done so far are read a couple of books and way back when I was pregnant for Elijah I bought a couple of baby items (mostly diapers that were a good deal). 

I feel guilty for not being more excited to plan things out for this baby.  I guess I have been putting on this good face of being positive and having a happy outlook on things but deep down I still struggle with fear.  After you lose a child you can never regain the naivete that you have before loss. 

So I'm trying to think of ways to get myself more excited to start planning and start buying things for the baby.  I want to pick up the book Baby Bargains, because I've heard it's a great resource and my best friend Nichole personally recommended it.  That seems like a good first step. 

I'm just worried as I get into the second trimester that time is going to keep creeping by and if I don't start working on this now I don't want to end up having to do everything at the last minute.  I probably sound like I'm overreacting but with all of the things going on with our new house and commitments in our lives it's not that much of a stretch of the imagination.

I hope that once I know what I'm having it will make it easier to start planning everything out and I will get more excited about it.  If anyone has any suggestions for how to get excited about all this please share!  It just feels scary and overwhelming right now. 

15 Week Update

How far along?: 15 Weeks

How big is baby?:   Your baby is the size of a pear!  She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds.  Your baby is growing rapidly and your baby's skeleton is now developing bones.

Any appointments or updates this week?: Yes, I had a great appointment on Monday which I already updated about.  Our next appointment will be the anatomy scan, I can't wait!

Body changes?:  My belly is definitely growing!

Maternity clothes?: I'm almost ready for them, I can definitely feel my clothes getting tighter.  Two pairs of work pants just barely button up, they are super tight.  I'm debating whether I should try a belly band or just go straight to maternity pants for my work clothes.  I do have one pair of maternity pants that I bought on sale from Target's website but they are full panel and right now they are still falling down too much.

Best moment last week?: Getting to see Sweet Pea on the ultrasound machine

Food cravings?: I crave food constantly, but it usually doesn't have to be one particular thing.  I'm loving eating cottage cheese lately.  It's a healthy snack and it also has 5 grams of protein per serving. 

Symptoms?: I have round ligament pain sometimes, especially if I cough, sneeze or blow my nose.  I'm also starting to get some acid reflux, especially if I go more than an hour or two without eating anything. And I am still getting woken up in the middle of the night with leg cramps.

Exercise?: I went for a short walk on Tuesday night.  I was going to try again tonight but it got cold outside and I had to make dinner.

What I miss?: Nothing really. 

What I'm looking forward to?: Our anatomy scan and also being able to feel the baby moving.  I've heard that usually happens between 16-18 weeks so it shouldn't be too much longer!

What our baby looks like this week:

14 weeks 6 days

We rushed to get ready for my appointment this morning, after a night of interrupted sleep (I had leg cramps and Art had a really bad stomach ache).  I was so excited to see our baby! 

After getting to the appointment I followed the usual routine: pee in a cup, get weighed in, blood pressure check, ask if I have any questions, then wait for the doctor. But I was confused and then disappointed when I realized that the nurse didn't ask me to take off my clothes and put on a gown.  Am I not getting an ultrasound today?  I could have sworn that my doctor said that I was, he said that we would find out the gender this time.  I internally started to panic, PGAL style.  

A very nice doctor came in, a different one than my usual doctor because I'm trying to get to know all of them in the practice.  She said they were just going to do a doppler check and wouldn't be doing any more ultrasounds from now on unless there was a problem.  Art and I were both so disappointed because it wasn't what we had expected.

She put the gel on my stomach and started trying to find the heartbeat.  We heard my heartbeat and a loud noise which she said was the baby moving around, but no fast heartbeat of the baby.  I was a little worried but the doctor reassured us the whole time that the baby was just hiding from her.  Then she made me smile by saying I guess we will just have to do an ultrasound!

It was such a relief to be able to see Sweet Pea again.  We could see so much more this time!  The legs, kicking bicycle style, and an arm reaching out - we could see all the different bones which was really incredible.  Plus the head and face, although the face was hard to make out.  Our sweet doctor printed lots of pictures for us, here's one of them:

We also scheduled our anatomy scan with the radiology office downstairs from the OB/GYN practice.  We were told that it will take about an hour and to go at 18 weeks.  Luckily they had appointments open for exactly 18 weeks, Tuesday, February 5th!  We can't wait to go and get a longer look at Sweet Pea and see if he/she is a boy or a girl!  

Also, here's my 14 week bump picture taken after our date last night.

My baby (+ Mexican food) belly!

So many happy blessings to share!  I hope your day is blessed too :) 

How I spent Elijah's birthday

Wow, it's only been a weekend but I have so many things to share.  The retreat this weekend was wonderful, but I can't talk about that yet.  Today is Elijah's birthday (really, his due date anniversary).  Elijah, our first child, was due on January 13th, 2012.  He was only with us for a very short time but his life impacted ours forever and we will never be the same.  (Elijah's story is found here.)

The only picture I have of my first baby, Elijah

As a pregnant-after-a-loss mom, I have this strange mix of feelings: grief and sadness, excitement and joy, mixed with guilt and tinged with fear.  How can I be happy today for the baby growing inside me when my first baby should be with me right now?  It feels like I am almost betraying him.  I know that God would never want me to feel that way, and neither would Elijah, but I can't help it.  Those thoughts still cross my mind.

Out of all the places to be during my heaven-child's first birthday, kneeling in front of an altar in front of our Lord Jesus (in the form of the Eucharist) was probably the most peaceful and appropriate for me.  My day started at 5:30am for an hour of adoration in front of the blessed sacrament, which was beautiful and gave me the opportunity to pray for Elijah and ask Jesus to take care of him and to sing him Happy Birthday (in my head, other people were around).  At different times throughout the day, I thought about him.  Luckily I was able to get through the day filled with lots of prayer, talks and fellowship with other Catholics, including going to Mass, and that really helped to lift my spirits and get me through the day.

On our way home from the retreat, I mentioned to Art that today should have been Elijah's birthday.  My loving husband had just the right words to remind me that Elijah is still with us and prays for us and helped to bring us Sweet Pea.  We left the subject there, on a high note.

Tonight we went out for dinner to have a nice date night.  I just felt that it was appropriate; in my own way it was my little celebration for my first child's birthday.  So I got a little extra dressed up and we had a great time at a Mexican restaurant called Garibaldi's.  It was my first time there and I love to try new restaurants.  It was such a great date.

I want to share so much more about my weekend but I just want this to be about Elijah, so I will leave it here.  Can't wait for my doctor's appointment tomorrow!

14 weeks 3 days

I wanted to post an update since I will be gone all weekend.  Art and I are going on a Catholic Young Adult retreat and I'm really excited about it!  We both went on a youth ministry retreat in the fall that we helped to run (for high school students) but we haven't really gone on a retreat for us...well, ever.  He has gone on a men's retreat and I have gone on a women's retreat but both of those were a while ago and I think this is something that we really need in our lives right now.  With the baby and new house plus work and other responsibilities it's just hard to find that time to devote to the Lord.  I'm really hoping this weekend gives us that opportunity to just rest in the Lord and to open our hearts to Him even more.  I'm also well aware that this may be the only time we will have this opportunity before we have a child, so that just makes it extra special to me.  If you are the praying type, I would just ask that you say a little prayer for us that we both grow closer to the Lord through this retreat. 

I also wanted to post my 14 week update, so that next week I can get back on track with updating right when I get into the new week.  Here we go!

How far along?: 14 Weeks

How big is baby?:   Your baby is the size of an orange!  At 14 weeks your baby is a regular wiggler, but because of his small size you probably won't feel it yet. Your baby-to-be's face is becoming more distinguishable as his eyes move closer together and his ears move closer to their final positions. He's also growing soft baby hair called lanugo all over his body, which is thought to help anchor developing skin, as well as forming hair on his eyebrows and scalp. He may hiccup too, even though his lungs are filled with fluid, not air.  This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb!

Any appointments or updates this week?: My next appointment is on Monday morning!

Body changes?:  My tummy is definitely sticking out farther than my boobs, which is a first!  People are starting to notice and comment on it a little.

Maternity clothes?: Not yet, but I have definitely noticed that some of my clothes are getting tight  especially certain dresses. 

Best moment last week?: Just having free time to relax with Art on the couch and watch tv

Food cravings?: None lately

Symptoms?: Lately I'm feeling occasional pain from my uterus stretching out.  I also have had some leg cramps in the middle of the night from wearing high heels or exercising without stretching out my legs afterwards.

Exercise?: I went for a 45 minute walk on Wednesday, which was the only day that I did not have another commitment after work. 

What I miss?: Sleeping through the night!  I usually wake up 1-2 times a night to go to the bathroom and stretch my legs if I have cramps.  The nights that I can still sleep all the way through are really awesome but they are becoming less common :( 

What I'm looking forward to?:  I can't wait for my appointment on Monday so that I know if the baby is doing okay and get to see him/her again.  I'm also excited to see if we can find out the sex yet (it's still a little early). 

What our baby looks like this week:

 

Have a great weekend everyone!

Hump Day Bump Day!

Okay, so I know you have been waiting to see more pictures...so here they are!  A few at least.  Unfortunately there was a week that I didn't get a picture and I haven't taken a 14 week picture yet (I have to remember to do that...I was planning on doing it over the weekend but I forgot we will be on a retreat!).

:::drumroll:::

 Here's a picture of us all dressed up for Christmas Eve, at Art's parents' house.

Oh, you were hoping to see bump pictures?  Okay!

My little bloat belly

And here's my picture from 13 weeks...my first 2nd tri picture!  There's definitely a little bit more to see.

I think this picture is a little deceiving, my belly isn't usually this big on a regular basis.

Sorry that I'm facing two different directions in the pictures.   I'm still getting the hang of posing for bump pics. 
Happy Hump Day!

Officially in the 2nd Trimester!

I'm officially in the 2nd tri!!!!  This is exactly how excited I feel:

It's awesome to be past the scary first trimester...of course my PGAL* brain keeps reminding me that other things can still go wrong but for the most part I feel really, really happy and confident about this pregnancy.

I know I have been slacking on posting lately - I am hoping to get my bump pictures posted soon.  It takes some effort because I have to do it on a particular computer that has the photo software that our camera uses (we have a Canon DSLR).  Sometimes I really wish that all cameras would be able to upload to the internet as easily as my iPhone pictures...*sigh*  First world problems :) 

Anyway, here's the 13 week update since I'm 13 weeks and 6 days today!

How far along?: 13 Weeks

How big is baby?:   Your baby is the size of a lemon!  Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries.  (Wow, isn't that amazing?) Tiny bones are beginning to form in her arms and legs, the intestines are beginning to move from the umbilical cord to the abdomen, and the vocal cords are well under construction.  And because she can move her arms and legs in a jerky fashion, she may be able to get her thumb into her mouth.

Any appointments or updates this week?: My next appointment is next Monday, can't wait!

Body changes?:  Everything is still pretty subtle.  I'm getting a little curvier though, I noticed when I tried to wear a dress that used to fit me great that it was really tight.   Between my boobs and belly I'm not as skinny as I used to be! 

Maternity clothes?: Not yet, my regular pants and shirts are still fitting okay.

Best moment last week?: Getting to spend lots of special moments with close friends - New Year's Eve, two weddings and more!

Food cravings?: None really

Symptoms?: My symptoms are subsiding a lot, except that I still need to drink lots of water.

Exercise?: None.  I'm really hoping to get a couple of walks in this week at least and maybe a yoga class.

What I miss?: Not a thing!  I'm so happy to be here.  I guess if I had to say anything, just the ability not to have to think about what I am eating/doing, I feel like I have to be a lot more conscious of all of my choices now that I'm pregnant.  But I wouldn't change it for anything.

What I'm looking forward to?:  Finding out the sex of the baby!  I can't wait.  

What our baby looks like this week:

*PGAL = Pregnant after a Loss