God Has a Sense of Humor!

Hi everyone!  I apologize for being MIA for the past week...you might have thought that it was because I was off having a baby.  Hahaha...nope!  It turns out that God has a sense of humor ;)  Art and I have prayed so hard for so long for me to be pregnant that God is just giving us a little extra time.

I'm officially 41 weeks pregnant today.  Over the past week it's been an emotional roller coaster.  Being a first time mom, I wasn't sure what to expect and we had a few times when different people predicted that I was going to go into labor.  Of course this got me excited and Art and I both have gotten our hopes up.   Well, here we still are.  I've definitely had some times of anxiety and frustration lately.    

My church young adult group has been doing a bible study and this week's topic was thankfulness.  So appropriate for my situation!  I loved these verses, God just spoke directly to me through them:

And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful.  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.  And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  -Colossians 3:15-17

Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. -Thessalonians 5:16-18

Isn't it so easy to be frustrated or anxious about something that seems to be going wrong in our lives,when really God is calling us to trust in him and giving us another opportunity to rest in his peace and his plan?

After doing the bible study, I put up this post-it on my mirror, just as a reminder:

It has really helped me to feel at peace about however long my pregnancy is going to go.  Plus, we know that the end is definitely in sight because my OB's office won't let me go past 42 weeks.  So, our little girl will be here soon, one way or the other!  I'm still praying for a natural, med-free labor and delivery but if that doesn't happen it won't matter, as long as she is healthy.

And now, hopefully for the last time, here's my weekly update:

How far along?: 41 weeks

How big is baby?:  A bit over 20 inches long, your baby has continued to grow and may now weigh almost 8 pounds. As cozy as he is, your baby can't stay inside you forever. For your baby's safety, your practitioner will talk with you about inducing labor if your baby isn't born in the next week — earlier if there are any problems. Most practitioners won't let you wait more than two weeks past your due date to give birth because it puts you and your baby at increased risk for complications. About 5 to 6 percent of women have prolonged pregnancies that extend three or more weeks beyond their estimated due dates. Babies born at 42 weeks and beyond can have dry parchment-like skin and are often overweight. Waiting that long to deliver also increases your chance of developing an infection in your uterus that could be dangerous for your baby or of having a stillbirth. What's more, your labor is more likely to be prolonged or stalled, both you and your baby have an increased risk of injury during a vaginal delivery, and you double your chances of needing a c-section.

Any appointments or updates this week?:  My best friend from high school is a medical resident and yesterday she got me in to see a doctor who does a technique called cranial OMT (osteopathic manipulation therapy) which is supposed to induce labor.  It felt very relaxing, the doctor just pressed on different areas of my body, especially the base of my head/top of my neck.  We'll see if it works or not.  I also have my 41 weeks appointment tomorrow to talk to the doctor about a plan and I will be getting an NST (non-stress test) to check on the baby.  

Body changes?: I lost my mucus plug at the end of last week so hopefully my body is making progress with dilation/effacement.  We will find out tomorrow. 

Maternity clothes?: Barely anything fits at this point.  I can't wait to be able to go shopping for clothes again after I have the baby.  I'm pretty much living in 2 pairs of shorts and a few tank tops and tees. 

Best moment last week?:  I have had some great times hanging out with my family lately, especially on the 4th of July (we went to my aunt's house for a party).  It's been nice to have this time to spend relaxing and spending quality time with them now that life isn't so hectic for me.

Food cravings?: Sugar, sugar, sugar!!!  I may or may not have eaten an entire box of Double Stuf Oreos...oh and ice cream ;)

Symptoms?:  The swelling as gone down in my ankles and feet but it's been happening in my hands a little bit.  Nothing to terrible though.  

Exercise?: Yoga, walking every day and swimming whenever I get the chance. 

What I miss?: Being able to go shopping for clothes.  There are so many cute things on sale right now!

What I'm looking forward to?: Meeting our baby girl! 

Full Term!!! + Father's Day Recap

I'm 37 weeks pregnant today, which is officially full term!  Our little girl is free to come whenever she wants now!  Art and I celebrated it this morning and joked that in a few weeks we are going to give her an eviction notice.  We just can't wait to meet her.  It's crazy that the time left is getting so short!

We celebrated Father's Day on Sunday by going to church and then I gave Art his presents:  a Skip Hop Duo diaper bag (a lot more manly looking than my Vera Bradley bag, and it's smaller and will fit on the stroller) and three kids books to read to the baby.  One was Guess How Much I Love You, a Curious George touch and feel board book, and the last one was a book called Because I'm Your Dad.  He really liked everything and I think he's excited to use it all.

 

Daddy diaper bag

 

Later we went over to Ormond Beach to meet up with some family including my parents and grandparents.  I gave my dad a card and a picture frame that says Grandpa.  He just bought himself a new camera so I'm sure that he will have lots of pictures to fill the frame with pretty soon!  

All in all it was a really nice weekend.  Art and I worked on some more baby to-do's: we got his car seat base installed, packed our hospital bag (minus a few things), and he rearranged the nursery furniture and hung a painting (I'm hoping to share pictures of the nursery soon).  We also got a chance to spend some time with friends on Saturday night.  One of my friends hosted a girls night at her apartment and so Art hosted all the guys at our place and they watched Avengers.  Of course us girls had a bunch of stuff planned and then just ended up talking the whole time!  But it was fun to hang out with friends, it might be the last time we do anything like that for a while. 

How far along?: 37 weeks, only 21 days to go!

How big is baby?: Baby is officially considered full-term, even with three weeks to go. That doesn't mean she's finished growing — in fact, she's still packing on about a half pound a week (at this age, the average baby weighs about 6.5 pounds). That makes it a little crowded in your uterus, so she’s probably not kicking as much, though she’s probably stretching, rolling a bit, and wiggling. Right now, your little superstar is busy rehearsing for her big debut, inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid (to get the lungs ready for that first breath), sucking her thumb (to prepare for that first suckle of milk), blinking, and turning from side to side.

Any appointments or updates this week?: Yesterday was our second childbirth class.  We practiced different breathing exercises and learned about different forms of labor induction, augmentation and such.  Then we went for the tour of the hospital - Art and I hadn't done one yet and I was so disappointed because we did not get to go into the Labor and Delivery unit because all of the rooms were full and we were in a large group.  We did get to go into one of the recovery rooms and it was tiny and not as nice as the other hospital that a lot of moms deliver at.  I tried to remind myself that the important thing is the doctors and staff and the care that I receive, but it was still disappointing.  We might try to book another tour because I would really like to see Labor and Delivery before the big day.

Body changes?: My feet and ankles are still really swollen and my hands get swollen sometimes too.  My whole body feels very heavy and it's getting uncomfortable to move around.

Maternity clothes?: I'm still living in dresses and skirts when I have to dress up, otherwise it's tank tops and shorts.  It's getting so hot that I don't really care that much if I don't look very well dressed.

Best moment last week?: Giving Art his gifts on Father's Day.

Food cravings?: Still sweets and sometimes fresh fruit or yogurt - cold stuff is good!

Symptoms?:  Swelling, waking up at night to pee, feeling heavy and tired

Exercise?: Walking and yoga.  Last week's class was awesome and I'm going back this week.

What I miss?: Not feeling so huge

What I'm looking forward to?: Meeting our baby girl!

My Baby Shower!

My baby shower was on Saturday and it was absolutely beautiful.  My sister Liz and my friend Rose put it all together, with my mom and mother-in-law.  My best friend Nichole and her daughter Brynn even flew in from Ohio to be a part of the celebration.  I felt so blessed and showered with love from all of my family and friends!  I know that my baby girl already has so many people who love and care about her. 

Now on to the pictures!

Nichole, Brynn and me at the house before the shower

Adorable party favors

Banner made by my sister

Diaper cake made by my sister-in-law Amanda 

My mom and my sister Liz

Friends Erica, Kenia, me, Lucy and Nichole

Grandma, Aunt Christy and Mom

Guess the baby food game

Opening gifts, this one was baby's first workout outfit.  So cute and appropriate because it came from my
fitness instructor/dancer friend! 

One of my favorites, a beautiful quilted blanket handmade by Nichole.   She also made the blocks on my lap. 

Another favorite and I had to laugh that Nichole made my daughter a bib complete with a pearl necklace!
The girl is going to be so stylish :) 

The beautiful cake, it was raspberry swirl with cream cheese icing inside

Family picture!  My sister, aunts, grandma, mom and cousins
(by the way this isn't even all of us!)

Sister-in-law Amanda, Mother-in-law Carrie, me, Mom, and Amanda's mom

Group friends picture, almost all my church friends plus Rose on the far right

Simply the most lovely shower, I am truly so blessed to have such amazing family and friends to help me celebrate our little miracle baby!

Picture Fest!

29 Weeks!  Another week has passed by already!  To quote another blogger that I frequently follow, "Time is going faster and faster. Almost to the point where it's stopped completely."  Pretty much sums up exactly how I have been feeling lately!  (Thanks Weaslewam)

I am really behind on posting pictures, so this is pretty much going to be a picture fest.  Enjoy!

Photos of our adorable niece and nephew...Sophia and Aidan!!!  We visited them in Houston for their baptism.

Feeding Aidan

Playing with adorable Aidan

Entertaining Sophia...she kept laughing and laughing!

Isn't my hubby going to be a great daddy?

I was so upset, with all the traveling I forgot to take my usual weekly bump picture!  But this one is pretty good...

annnd, for your viewing pleasure, here is my usual bump pose from over the weekend at 28 weeks:

I hope to get a few more posts in soon.  But, somebody around here (my hubby) is having his 30th birthday this weekend!  So it's sure to continue being a busy month.  Plus, my best friend and her daughter are coming to visit for my shower in 6 days!  Squeeee!!!!  Can't wait! 

Playing Catch Up...Long Update

Wow, it's hard to believe it's only been a week since my last post.  Life has been really busy in just that short time!

Last Friday we flew out to Houston to visit Art's sister and her husband, and their adorable twins!  They have a boy and a girl who are both 5 1/2 months old and they were getting baptized.  Art was the baby girl's godfather and I stood in for the godmother at the ceremony.  It was so much fun getting to spend the whole weekend with family and meeting our gorgeous niece and nephew for the first time.  Pictures coming soon!

Monday morning I had my 28 week appointment, where I got the Rhogam shot and found out that I officially passed the 1 hour glucose test!  Apparently my score was a 77, which is well below where it needed to be.  Woohoo!

After work we went to church for the baptism class (it was a whole long weekend of baptism fun!).  The class was really nice and we knew two other couples there.  It really made things seem real to fill out the form with our little girl's name and information.  We had to leave some things blank like her birth date obviously but at least we are all set for after she is born for her to be baptized.

After the baptism class Art and I celebrated passing my glucose test by getting ice cream.  There is a new place right by our house and it is dangerously good!!!

Delicious soft serve...Yummy!

 

On Tuesday I had to leave town again for a work event the next day which was 4 hours away. The event was on Wednesday and I came home that afternoon.  So two trips in such a short time has left me feeling very wiped out!  To make things worse, my car's air conditioner wasn't working properly and so I had to drive back without a/c for about half the drive.  I was sure to take it in be repaired first thing Thursday.

And last but not least...

How far along?: 28 Weeks, 82 days to go!

How big is baby?:  By this week, your baby weighs two and a half pounds (the size of a pumpkin) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world. 

Any appointments or updates this week?:  Thankfully my bladder pain has gotten better.  I am so glad to have passed the glucose test too.  

Body changes?:  I officially have cankles!  With the warm weather lately my feet and legs are getting swollen and I am constantly hot, sweaty and uncomfortable.

Maternity clothes?:  I desperately need to get to Old Navy to buy some tank tops and shorts, now that summer has apparently arrived in Central Florida :/

Best moment last week?:  Being with family for my niece and nephew's baptism

Food cravings?:  Nothing specifically

Symptoms?:  Back pain, trouble sleeping and swelling.  

Exercise?: We went for a few long walks in Houston. 

What I miss?:  Nothing much, I am really happy. 

What I'm looking forward to?: My shower which is coming up in just over 2 weeks, and my best friend and her daughter who will be here in exactly 2 weeks!!!

26 Weeks and Easter pictures!

Hi guys!  I'll get right to the good stuff...bump pictures!  I had Art take my bump picture outside in front of our pretty Easter wreath on Sunday. 

Super comfy and pretty Jessica Simpson dress from Motherhood

How far along?: 26 Weeks, 98 days to go!

How big is baby?:   Your baby is the size of a cabbage!  She now weighs about two pounds and measures 14 1/2 inches and she is continuing to put on baby fat.  The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. She may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. She's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air.

Any appointments or updates this week?: I wasn't supposed to have an appointment, but I am going in tomorrow morning to check to see if I have a urinary tract infection (fun!)

Body changes?:  I feel like my belly has gotten so much bigger just in the past week.    It's crazy that I'm going to keep getting bigger and bigger!

Maternity clothes?:  When I was trying on maternity clothes the other day the size Small clothes felt really tight, so now I'm going up to Medium.  Hopefully I can keep wearing the maternity stuff I have though.  Luckily most things are stretchy. 

Best moment last week?: Celebrating Easter with our families, it was so special!  I got really emotional in church, everything just hit me.  I am so thankful for Christ's sacrifice for my salvation!

Food cravings?: I might or might not have eaten a whole bag of jelly beans yesterday.  Oops.

Symptoms?: Sore back and feet, and I think I'm getting linea negra. 

Exercise?: I did two laps around the neighborhood on Easter with the family.  I have to keep it up.  I want to add swimming and prenatal yoga in, if I can make time for it (and find a pregnancy-friendly swimsuit).

What I miss?:  Sleeping comfortably. 

What I'm looking forward to?: Visiting my brother- and sister-in-law in a couple weeks for their twins' baptism!

What our little girl looks like this week:

And here are some family pictures from Easter:

Family picture: me, Art, his mom and dad and dog Rusty :)

My mom and dad, me, Art and my twin sister Liz

Hey Hey, We're Almost Halfway!

Wow, I can't believe it!  Tomorrow will be 20 weeks!  Reality has finally started hitting me and I've completely gone into get-stuff-done mode, so that made for an extremely fun but extremely busy weekend.  Also, Art is about to get slammed at work so I wanted to take advantage of one of his last weekends where he wouldn't be working or completely exhausted.

We started Saturday by taking our first trip together to Babies-R-Us and Buy Buy Baby.  I went in armed with my Baby Bargains book (a lifesaver!) and a list of items that my sister-in-law recommended.  It helped a lot to have that extra information as we walked through all the aisles of gear.  We picked out some things that will be going on our registry, like the Chicco KeyFit 30 car seat and stroller caddy

It was our front runner, and a mom actually stopped is in the store and told us that the stroller caddy was awesome because it's lightweight and easy to fold and unfold, and not to bother with the travel system.  We like the Adventure style because it's gender neutral and we plan on having more kids eventually. 

Other categories were harder to agree on, like the crib and dresser.  And we were both stumped by all the different gliders.  But, we are making progress!

We also went over to my aunt's house on Saturday afternoon to visit and pick up a bunch of baby clothes that she offered to hand down to us.  It was great, she gave us a huge plastic tub full of her kids' clothes including the cutest thing...

Our little gator girl has her first cheerleading outfit!

When we were at my aunt's house, Sweet Pea was kicking me like crazy.  I'm not sure what got her so excited but it might have been the two dogs that my aunt and uncle have.  Anyway, I put Art's hand on my stomach while we were sitting on the couch and all of a sudden I feel a really hard kick, and he felt it too!  It was so cool and special that we could both feel her moving. 

We did more shopping on Sunday, but I'm going to save that for tomorrow.

Anyway, I guess I should get to posting my 19 week update :)

How far along?: 19 Weeks

How big is baby?:   Your baby is the size of a potato or mango!  Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces, and measures about 10 1/2 inches long.
Baby girl's early ovaries contain follicles with forming eggs. Soon, half of the genetic material for your potential future grandchildren will be formed. Pictures of babies at this age show them touching the membrane of the amniotic sac, touching their own faces, reaching for the umbilical cord, pedaling their legs, and sucking their thumbs.

Any appointments or updates this week?:  No appointments this week, I'm still on the every 4 weeks schedule so I won't go back until March.

Body changes?: My bump is getting a little bigger every day!  Everything else is going well so far.

Maternity clothes?:  Yes!  I am definitely noticing the need for maternity clothes now, because my bump is getting to the point where some of my shirts aren't long enough any more.  The belly band still works but demi-panel pants are a lot more comfortable.  I have a feeling I will be retiring most of my pre-pregnancy wardrobe pretty soon!

Best moment last week?:  Art getting to feel the baby kick, and receiving his Valentine's Day gifts from our daughter (and the card he gave her back). 

Food cravings?:  Still craving chocolate and anything sweet.

Symptoms?: Extra emotional, leg cramps, thirsty.

Exercise?: Does pulling weeds from our flower beds count?

What I miss?:  Not having to carry a water bottle everwhere

What I'm looking forward to?: Decorating the nursery and registering for everything

What our little girl looks like this week:

 

How I spent Elijah's birthday

Wow, it's only been a weekend but I have so many things to share.  The retreat this weekend was wonderful, but I can't talk about that yet.  Today is Elijah's birthday (really, his due date anniversary).  Elijah, our first child, was due on January 13th, 2012.  He was only with us for a very short time but his life impacted ours forever and we will never be the same.  (Elijah's story is found here.)

The only picture I have of my first baby, Elijah

As a pregnant-after-a-loss mom, I have this strange mix of feelings: grief and sadness, excitement and joy, mixed with guilt and tinged with fear.  How can I be happy today for the baby growing inside me when my first baby should be with me right now?  It feels like I am almost betraying him.  I know that God would never want me to feel that way, and neither would Elijah, but I can't help it.  Those thoughts still cross my mind.

Out of all the places to be during my heaven-child's first birthday, kneeling in front of an altar in front of our Lord Jesus (in the form of the Eucharist) was probably the most peaceful and appropriate for me.  My day started at 5:30am for an hour of adoration in front of the blessed sacrament, which was beautiful and gave me the opportunity to pray for Elijah and ask Jesus to take care of him and to sing him Happy Birthday (in my head, other people were around).  At different times throughout the day, I thought about him.  Luckily I was able to get through the day filled with lots of prayer, talks and fellowship with other Catholics, including going to Mass, and that really helped to lift my spirits and get me through the day.

On our way home from the retreat, I mentioned to Art that today should have been Elijah's birthday.  My loving husband had just the right words to remind me that Elijah is still with us and prays for us and helped to bring us Sweet Pea.  We left the subject there, on a high note.

Tonight we went out for dinner to have a nice date night.  I just felt that it was appropriate; in my own way it was my little celebration for my first child's birthday.  So I got a little extra dressed up and we had a great time at a Mexican restaurant called Garibaldi's.  It was my first time there and I love to try new restaurants.  It was such a great date.

I want to share so much more about my weekend but I just want this to be about Elijah, so I will leave it here.  Can't wait for my doctor's appointment tomorrow!

The True Meaning of Christmas

ICLWers:  You may want to start reading here, there are several links to my loss and infertility journey and you can avoid the pregnancy posts if you wish to (I completely understand, trust me).

I have always loved Christmastime.  It's such a wonderful time of the year.  I love the decorations, seeing little children all dressed up and excited, Mall Santas making memories, cheerful music, great food and of course family.  It's one of the few times of the year that everyone really slows down and appreciates each other.

One special thing that I got to be a part of this year was an Adoration service with the Bishop of Orlando.  To explain for anyone who isn't familiar with it, adoration is a form of worship in which Catholics pray and honor God by celebrating him in the form the holy Eucharist.  It is a beautiful form of worship and at this service we sang and dimmed the lights while praying.  Since it was so close to Christmas we had a statue of pregnant Mary and while praying I was overcome with a sense of awe that Mary actually carried Jesus exactly like I am carrying my Sweet Pea right now.

I always knew intellectually that it was a huge honor for her and that she was very blessed but being pregnant during Christmas put it into a totally new perspective for me.  I feel so honored to be carrying our baby and I cannot imagine how much more honored she must have felt.  What an incredible miracle.

Telling Our Family

One of the most fun and exciting parts of pregnancy is getting to tell everyone and seeing their faces light up in excitement and joy for you.  Due to the long journey that we have been on to get pregnant for a second time, we decided to tell our immediate family the same day that we found out that we were pregnant.  It was a really big day, because that day we also put in a contract on a new home!  So we called and said "Guess what?  We're buying a house...and having a baby!"

I wanted to wait a little longer before telling my extended family.  Originally I thought it would be so cute to tell them on Christmas morning and I would be near the end of my first trimester by then.  But after seeing the heartbeat on Monday I changed my mind and decided to tell them on Thanksgiving.  I was too excited to keep the secret any longer.

I looked online for a cute idea for how to announce the good news to them.  Some of the things I found were down right gross!  Finally I decided the way I would do it. We waited until my grandparents were getting ready to leave and then insisted on a family picture, which wasn't too hard since that has always been a big tradition in my family.  We all stood outside of my aunt's house and took a couple of pictures and then I yelled out "Ok a fun one!  Everyone say Erin's pregnant!"

Their reaction was awesome, they all went from confused to shocked to ecstatic for us.  It was amazing.  Plus my uncle's mom was snapping pictures the whole time so I have a few really good ones (I had wanted to video tape it but nobody that could take the picture was in on the secret).  It was a great moment for our family and they're so happy for us.  I have the sweetest picture of me and my grandma; we are both smiling through our tears!

The Beginning

The Story of Us
This is the story of me (Erin) and my husband Art and our journey to start a family.  We are two twenty-somethings who met at the University of Florida and fell in love.  After graduation we got married in July 2007 and settled down to start our new lives together.

Elijah's Story
Initially we told our families not to even ask about grandkids until at least five years after we got married, but in April 2011 we decided that we were ready to grow our family.  On May 12, 2011 I couldn't believe my eyes: I was staring at a positive pregnancy test!  We were very blessed to conceive right away and we were so excited to be having a baby!  Sadly, at our first ultrasound appointment the doctor told us that the baby was measuring 7 weeks although I should have been 10 weeks pregnant.  He told us that most likely we were having a missed miscarriage, which is when the baby stops developing but the mother's body does not recognize what has happened.  We were devastated to get this terrible news.  We went back for a confirmation ultrasound on June 15th just to be sure that the baby definitely was not growing and unfortunately nothing had progressed.  Since my body wasn't dealing with the miscarriage on it's own, I was given misoprostol to help the process.  The physical pain was difficult but the emotional pain was overwhelming.  Art and I both struggled with wondering if our baby was in Heaven, and I particularly questioned why God would let this happen to us.  We named our first baby Elijah, which means "my God is the Lord".  Although this trial tested our faith and our marriage at times, I learned to rely on my amazing friends and family, as well as many Bible verses which talk about God's power to redeem suffering and the way that he blesses those who suffer.