Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Stolen Moments

I never really appreciated how much freedom and flexibility I had before having a baby.  Now I hold my breath as my darling daughter sighs and rolls around in her crib, hoping for a few more minutes of silence to accomplish a task or simply to sit still with my thoughts.  Once she awakes it's go, go, go.

To-do's pile up and my brain can't keep track of everything I wish I had time to do.  I'm thankful to be a stay at home mom so at least I do have some free time during her naps and in the evenings instead of having to cram in all of the chores and cooking and prep for the next day.  The paradox is that by staying home I'm physically exhausted every night and all I can do on most nights is run through everything in my mind while I melt into the couch or my bed and watch TV or mindlessly browse Facebook and Pinterest.

I know that life won't be like this forever.  In some ways it's good to be forced to slow down and appreciate the little things more.  Like last night, when Leah saw her daddy and I kiss (a peck on the lips) and she immediately went up to Daddy with her lips puckered, wanting her own kiss!  It was adorable.  Then she came and got one from me too.

Life is so, so good.


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

For All the Moms Who Are Struggling

Today just isn't your day.  You're beat up, run down, exhausted - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  Every mom has felt this way at one point or another (ok, let's face it, probably many times, depending on how long you've been a mom).

First of all, I want to let you know that it is okay to feel this way.  Nobody said that motherhood was going to be all good and that you were expected to have endless patience.  Nobody is perfect and nobody can handle all that life and motherhood throws at us every single day without breaking down once in a while.

Having a bad day doesn't make you a bad mom.  Crying, venting, screaming doesn't make you a bad mom.  We all have our limits and some days those limits get pushed and tested and plain old tossed out the window by life and our kids and everything else we have to deal with.

What can you do when you are having a bad day?  Here are my top five tips:

1. Call a friend or family
When you feel like nothing is going right sometimes one of the most cathartic things to do is just to call your best friend or your mom or someone else that you love and get it all out.  Vent away all your frustration and every little thing that bothered you that day.  Get it out of your head and out of yourself and release it.  Then let that person that loves you back tell you that it's going to be okay, that you are a great mom and that your child isn't going to end up needing therapy!

2. Go outside
I don't know why this works but when Leah was a baby her pediatrician would tell us that if she was upset to take her outside.  There is something calming about being in nature: all the sights, sounds, smells I guess.  It works on your kids and it will work on you too.  Until your kids start eating bugs and grass and dirt...ugh!  But you just might be having a bad enough day that it won't bother you and you will let them do it anyway.

3. Go anywhere!
It seems like getting out of the house in general always does wonders for my mood and Leah's too.  Plus when we go to the store and a stranger tells me how cute she looks it makes me feel a little bit better if I'm having a bad day.  Oh and Starbucks drive-through doesn't hurt either!  Which leads me to #4...

4. Indulge
Indulge yourself in any way you can.  Take a nap.  Eat chocolate.  Have a Starbucks latte.  Anything that will make you feel a little bit better.  And if that doesn't work, when all else fails, go directly to #5:

5.  Call in reinforcements
Leave the kids with daddy or a babysitter or family member for a few hours and escape.  We all need our mental health days from work and taking care of kids is a LOT of work!  You deserve a break sometimes to re-center yourself and break out of the situation that's making you feel crazy.  Besides, its good for kids to get time with Daddy and other loving, caring family and friends.  It will give them a chance to miss you and you a chance to miss them.

Most of all, know that you are a great mother and that this too shall pass.  Tomorrow may be another crummy day, especially if you are dealing with teething or illness or something else that is no fun like that.  But it will get better eventually.  The good day that is waiting around the corner will be make up for the bad.  It will make it all worth it.  Even in bad days you can find moments that make you smile.  Motherhood is the best and hardest job in all the world.  So for all the moms who are struggling, hang on.  You are strong enough to make it through this and when you look back from the other side, it will all have been worth it.


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I'm finally back!

Hi friends!  I'm finally back to blogging and here to finally share my pride and joy, Leah Nicole, who was born at 11:09pm on July 18, 2013.

She was born weighing 7 lbs. 10 oz. and 22 inches long.  I'd love to share my birth story with you all if anyone is interested but I'll save that for another post.  She is a wonderful, beautiful baby and I'm looking forward to sharing pictures and stories of our lives here.

I'm so, so sorry to have gone MIA and left you all hanging for so long.  Unfortunately my transition to motherhood has been anything but smooth.  I had a serious case of post-partum depression that hit me like a ton of bricks.  I thought that since we had planned and hoped and dreamed for our baby for so long that everything would be happy and light once she arrived.  I thought that since I had read parenting books, taken classes and babysat for kids since age 11 that I was prepared.  I thought that since I was staying home with her and had dropped most of my commitments that things would not be too stressful.  Of course I knew that there would be a learning curve, I just had no idea how much of a curve there was and how impossible and overwhelming it would all feel.

I'm doing much better now, although I still have my ups and downs!  But I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can start sharing how I feel again and my hope is that I will encourage someone, or make someone laugh, or make someone smile with one of my posts.

The baby's crying now, be back again soon!  I promise :)



If you or someone you know is going through "baby blues" or post-partum depression, please know you are not alone!  Feel free to comment or message me privately, I think that the more we talk about these issues the less taboo they become.